Dear Abby: How can I help my friend with her cheapskate husband?

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DEAR ABBY: My good friend is married to a penny-pincher. He hates spending cash. They're retired and have sizable property. He by no means buys her something for her birthday or takes her out to dinner. He doesn’t purchase her a card on Valentine’s Day, both.

They every personal their very own houses and commute backwards and forwards between them. When he involves her home, she has her fridge stocked. When she goes to his, he has no meals. She should go to the market and purchase meals for each of them. Then he will get offended available in the market about spending cash on meals. He hates eating places as a result of they price cash.

As a result of he’s so low cost, he goes to the native hospital and buys his dinner from the cafeteria there. They preserve their funds separate, however she feels he ought to do one thing for her for holidays and particular events.

She at all times does good issues for him, like treating him to sporting occasions, dinners, and so on. In the event that they exit with a bunch of individuals, he will get irritated with splitting the invoice. She’s at all times slipping him cash underneath the desk so he pays his and her share.

At this level, his cheapness is affecting their marriage. Abby, are you able to recommend something to vary a cheapskate husband? He has the assets; he simply doesn’t need to spend any of it. — ASKING FOR A FRIEND

DEAR ASKING: In case your good friend and her husband spent an affordable period of time collectively earlier than they married, she will need to have identified about his “quirk.” He could have a deep-seated concern of poverty. As a result of his penurity has grow to be more and more exhausting for her to reside with, she should converse up. That their houses and monetary property have been saved separate could have been very sensible. (You didn’t point out whether or not they're completely happy in different features of their marriage.)

Counseling would possibly assist — if he's prepared to confess there's a drawback. If she’s soliciting recommendation from you, recommend she grow to be much less beneficiant and eat nicely earlier than she arrives at his house. If his cabinet is naked, he, not she, ought to go to the shop to fill it and even deal with himself to dinner on the hospital cafeteria. Not each partner wants presents however, as a result of she does and he chooses to disregard it, she could have to just accept they're two very totally different folks. Whereas opposites can entice, on this case, apparently it isn’t true. What a disgrace.

DEAR ABBY: I've been a widow for 3 years. There’s a man I've identified for the final eight years, and I've had a crush on for a few years. I’m undecided find out how to speak to him about my emotions and I don’t need to destroy our friendship. How can I speak to him and never destroy our friendship? — FEELING LOST

DEAR FEELING LOST: Do you socialize with this individual? When you do, the following time you exit collectively, inform him how a lot you want him and the way particular he's to you. If he reacts positively, inform him you might have a crush on him. Then pay attention. I wouldn’t name that being unduly ahead, but when he runs for the hills, you’ll know your crush just isn't reciprocated. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.