Is your neighbor harassing you? Follow these 4 steps to handle the problem

[ad_1] One of many penalties of residing in a densely populated metropolis like New York is that even when you do not know your neighbors, you possibly can in all probability hear them within the hallway or by way of an adjoining wall—and generally even odor what they're cooking for dinner.

Guidelines about widespread nuisances like noise and odorous trash are sometimes spelled out in your lease or constructing bylaws. They are often pretty straightforward to observe (or endure, with the requisite complaining that's each New Yorker's proper). However what are you able to do when somebody's habits is past obnoxious and borders on harassment?

Mediation is one route. "We obtain quite a few requests for mediation to assist resolve conflicts on this crowded metropolis, particularly for noise-related disputes, " mentioned Michele Kirschbaum, managing director of packages at New York Peace Institute.

New York State legislation defines harassment as any conduct meant to bother, threaten, intimidate, or alarm one other individual. If that feels like your scenario, you need to know there are steps you possibly can take—together with calling the police in case you are ever bodily in peril. Learn on for what else you are able to do.

[Editor's note: An earlier version of this post was published in September 2025. We are presenting it again with updated information for February 2026.]

1. Discuss it out Dealing instantly together with your neighbor might be the very last thing you wish to do nevertheless it's an essential transfer.

Dean M. Roberts, an actual property lawyer at Norris McLaughlin, identified that whereas security must be your high precedence, speaking the difficulty out together with your neighbor continues to be step one you need to take. You should have some direct communication earlier than pursuing a extra formal route, similar to mediation.

Roberts really useful reaching out to your neighbor by way of e mail or a handwritten letter. You do not wish to create a scenario the place your harasser can say, "If solely she had instructed me, I'd have stopped." Not solely do you come off because the unreasonable celebration, however you might miss a chance to straighten out the battle early.

Should you've made an earnest try to achieve a gathering of the minds however failed to realize a passable decision, do not hold forcing the difficulty—that may solely escalate the scenario. Transfer on to step two.

You additionally should not need to take care of somebody instantly who makes you (or others) really feel unsafe; in that occasion, search assist.

2. Enlist the owner or board Landlords and co-op boards have an obligation to give you a liveable house, however what that really means is not at all times clear-cut.

When it is cigarette (or marijuana) smoke or children operating within the hallways, the administration firm can step in to assist type it out—filling gaps in partitions between flats within the former case, and even bringing in sound tools to measure decibel ranges within the latter.

If the individual is making a vermin drawback, landlords have a good higher responsibility to behave. (And if they do not, you possibly can register a grievance with 311.)

Landlords face an uphill battle relating to evicting tenants who're paying their hire and doing nothing unlawful per se, particularly in rent-stabilized buildings. What's extra, rental and co-op boards and landlords are loath to become involved in intra-neighbor disputes.

"There may be little or no upside," Roberts mentioned. "It places them within the troublesome place of creating judgment calls they do not wish to make with data they do not have." Plus, they will need to take care of both one or each house owners or tenants being on the warpath.

Nonetheless, you do have each proper to register a grievance; the bottom line is to be persistent. Roberts suggested placing your situation in writing to the board or landlord, ensuring to incorporate the dates of the incident. "It is stronger proof than saying, 'I referred to as final yr, however I am unable to keep in mind when,'" he mentioned. You ought to state the issue after which say one thing alongside the traces of, "Please let me understand how you assume it must be handled/how one can assist me."

If you don't hear again, Roberts really useful sending a second letter placing them on discover that "X" consequence will happen when you do not reply by "Y" date. These are usually not idle threats however justifiable actions, together with withholding upkeep and bringing a lawsuit in opposition to the neighbor, the board or landlord, and the managing agent for breaching their responsibility to guard you. (See step 4 for extra about taking the authorized route.)

Robert J. Braverman, managing accomplice at Braverman Greenspun, a legislation agency specializing in rental and co-op legislation, reported dealing with an notorious case wherein the harassment was so egregious that the board itself introduced a swimsuit. The defendant's objectionable habits included taking photos of different house owners whereas they had been figuring out.

Initially, the authorized group felt this could possibly be dealt with between the unit house owners, however Braverman mentioned it reached a tipping level. "When it turns into a sample and extends to the employees and plenty of unit house owners, in some unspecified time in the future, the board mentioned: Sufficient is sufficient," he mentioned.

The agency just lately dealt with one other case involving a rental resident charged with a sample of habits occurring over almost a yr, together with: routinely trailing, slapping, and groping girls and youngsters who lived in or visited the constructing; yelling derogatory and sexually inappropriate statements at neighbors; soliciting a visiting teenage woman for a sexual encounter within the elevator; threatening to kick a neighbor's canine; and taking a neighbor's canine's biscuits and consuming them.

"Different residents and the board had been delicate to the truth that this was clearly a psychological well being situation and seemed into non-legal options; nonetheless, in the long run, the worry that residents (particularly girls) had of their constructing pushed the board to file the lawsuit," mentioned Fletcher Corley, an affiliate at Braverman Greenspun who's aware of the case. "It acquired so unhealthy that the doorman, porter, and male residents had been escorting girls who lived within the constructing to their house doorways to keep away from any doubtlessly harmful conditions with the resident in query."

In these and different eventualities, making a file of complaints is crucial: doc all incidents in a log and register dates and occasions. Establishing a paper path will show you how to construct your case when you wind up pursuing authorized motion or breaking your lease and getting sued by your landlord.

If there are witnesses to any incidents, attempt to acquire their written statements as properly. Even higher when you or they seize any incidents on video.

3. Search mediation When the steps above do not alleviate the issue—or have the other impact and exacerbate it—you possibly can pursue mediation as a substitute of submitting a fully-fledged authorized case.

Moreover being faster and cheaper (and even free), "mediation is inherently much less adversarial as a result of the events are selecting to take part," mentioned Lauren Axelrod, common counsel for the New York Metropolis Bar Affiliation. The events can work collectively cooperatively and on their very own schedule to develop an answer fairly than leaving the choice to a decide, and find yourself with one thing that's (ideally) mutually agreeable.

The continuing is personal and confidential. There's one other essential motive to go for a extra cooperative answer: You are probably going to be neighbors for some time and see one another, at the very least often, within the constructing's widespread areas.

The NYC Bar Affiliation's Co-op and Condominium Mediation Challenge provides educated mediators with capped hourly charges. It's best to in all probability plan on at the very least two hours.

"The toughest half is getting each events to comply with mediate," Kirschbaum mentioned. The New York Peace Institute gives free mediation companies by way of video conferencing for many who want that possibility, or in individual at their Manhattan and Brooklyn workplaces. The best method to entry these companies is to fill out a request kind on their web site or by sending an e mail to [email protected].

Kirschbaum defined that in sure instances, a consultant from the property administration workplace could take part within the mediation session, which might help assist any settlement reached. "If all events want, we will additionally maintain the mediation on-site on the property supervisor's workplace," she famous.

Mediation will be difficult, but in addition vastly rewarding and empowering. "Conflicts are emotional and deep, however having a chance to speak issues out may be very, very useful. As soon as events start to speak with each other in mediation and begin to really feel heard, inventive options can emerge. Even when you do not really come to a full settlement, the events would possibly come to a greater understanding of each other, and tensions will be eased," Kirschbaum mentioned.

Know {that a} mediation settlement shouldn't be enforceable by legislation. As a legally binding contract, nonetheless, you could possibly sue the opposite individual for breach in civil court docket.

Roberts provides that the police will clearly aspect with you in any future incidents—and, if the harasser defaults, the mediation settlement will assist construct your case in a authorized declare.

In response to Kirschbaum, if the opposite individual is unwilling to mediate, the New York Peace Institute gives a solo session with one in every of their educated mediators, the place you possibly can discuss by way of the scenario and the methods you're utilizing or not. The mediator might help reality-test numerous options that may work.

General, the potential advantages of mediation, similar to improved communication and understanding, the potential of repaired relationships, and the chance to create personalised options, far outweigh any attainable downsides, making it a extremely really useful possibility for addressing neighbor disputes, she explains.

4. Go the authorized route If you wish to take authorized motion, you will have some choices right here, together with submitting a grievance with the New York State Division of Human Rights or initiating a swimsuit with NYC's Division of Housing, Preservation, and Improvement, which protects low-income and senior tenants from constructing code violations like failure to supply warmth or tackle a vermin infestation. "Extra nuanced points like noise complaints, whereas technically in violation of the code, aren't as clear-cut," Roberts mentioned.

As to what constitutes harassment below the legislation, "You already know it while you see it," Roberts famous, including it's based mostly on the totality of the timeline and occasions fairly than any hard-and-fast rule.

"It additionally boils all the way down to intent," he mentioned. So an expert pianist who performs classical music for 12 hours a day wouldn't be thought of a nuisance (true story), whereas a neighbor who's blaring opera music as a result of she is aware of it drives you up the wall, arguably could possibly be.

If the harassment is basically out of hand, you might in the end need to contain the police. Even one go to from the cops will be sufficient to cease the habits. All the higher (unhappy to say) if the perpetrator has a status for harassing different folks within the constructing. Axelrod identified you can get authorized help by way of the NYC Bar Affiliation's Authorized Referral Service, which connects you with a certified, vetted lawyer.

Must you file a legal grievance that results in an arrest, you (because the plaintiff) can ultimately go to your native police precinct and request an order of safety, compelling the defendant to avoid you and your house for a said time period (typically one yr).

"Individuals assume this order is a right away answer, nevertheless it takes some effort and time to achieve that time," Roberts mentioned.

The chance that the District Legal professional's workplace will pursue the case to trial is slim. And if it does go to trial, the case might take months to wind its means by way of the system, with no assure that an order of safety shall be granted.

Within the meantime, the individual may be residing proper subsequent to you or in the identical constructing, and there is nothing you are able to do about that. "At the very least the order offers you a defend in case there is a violation," Roberts mentioned. In different phrases, when you name the police, they may clearly take your aspect fairly than chalk it as much as simply one other neighbor dispute. That is saying one thing.

Solely you possibly can gauge whether or not it is well worth the effort to pursue a legal case, particularly given the unpredictable end result.

As an alternative, in case you are open to the concept of transferring, why not channel all that point, vitality, and price into discovering a brand new house with (fingers crossed) friendlier neighbors? That, for positive, brings its personal stress stage, however could result in a happier ending.

—Earlier variations of this text contained reporting and writing by V. L. Hendrickson and Emily Myers.

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Tubi Debuts HBCU Film Hub, Spotlighting Black Student Filmmakers For Black History Month

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