Dear Abby: All my decades-long friends have shunned me — I don’t know why

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DEAR ABBY: For the third time in my life, I'm being shunned by long-term pals. Through the years, I've expended a substantial amount of effort and time to remain in contact with them. Again once we lived in the identical locations, we had been very shut. Finally, I moved away however all the time stayed in contact.

These friendships have spanned many years and, since we not often see one another, I can’t perceive what may need occurred to precipitate this. I do know everybody has points, however they not reply, and I’m extraordinarily damage by it. It takes solely seconds to acknowledge a textual content or e mail. Actually, I’d be there for them in any method I may in the event that they had been having difficulties.

I’d like to inform them off, however I do know it could resolve nothing, though it could be good to get it off my chest. I’m discovering it onerous to let this go. What do you assume I would do? It’s onerous to imagine they could possibly be so callous. — LET DOWN IN FLORIDA

DEAR LET DOWN: Friendships don’t all the time final endlessly. Generally ties that bind folks collectively begin to fray. Geographical distance solely provides to that. If I assumed telling these folks off would accomplish something constructive, I'd say go forward and do it, but it surely gained’t. It might solely justify the rationale (if there even IS a motive) why they've moved on.

The healthiest factor you are able to do for your self now's settle for that what you had previously not exists and focus on cultivating relationships nearer to dwelling with individuals who wish to be pals with you.

DEAR ABBY: As a 70-year-old who devoted her nursing profession to bettering take care of older adults, I do know what excellent care appears like. I’ve seen it and supplied it. Excellent care is when “what issues most” to sufferers drives the whole remedy plan. It’s age-friendly care that's knowledgeable by the drugs we take, how simply we transfer, our temper and reminiscence and our targets and preferences.

Sadly, we’re not getting excellent care as usually as we must always. A ballot my group carried out with Age Wave discovered that solely 11% of older adults give the U.S. well being care system a high grade. The survey additionally exhibits we worth life in our years, not simply years in our life. It highlights a disconnect between the care older adults need and what they obtain. The gaps are most pronounced for folks of coloration, girls and those that dwell in rural areas.

Readers can be taught concerning the care we would like, deserve and may obtain at http://www.johnahartford.org/crossroads. It’s time to remodel well being take care of older adults. I’m optimistic we are able to do it collectively. — TERRY FULMER, PRESIDENT, THE JOHN A. HARTFORD FOUNDATION

DEAR TERRY: Thanks for writing. I'm impressed at how well-funded and prudently managed your group appears to be.

Readers, in 2023, this group gave out $28 million in grants and one other $2 million for analysis. Their grantees included a variety of assume tanks, advocacy teams, hospital programs and medical associations. If you're on the lookout for a chance to become involved, go to the web site Dr. Fulmer talked about in her letter. If we would like higher take care of older adults, we must always all look into what it entails and how you can see that we get it.

P.S. I'm not affiliated with Dr. Fulmer’s group, or any group talked about in my column.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.